Update on Mom

It is hard to even begin this post ... I feel like the past month has been a blur of hardships and disappointments, one after the other. I never imagined that I would be facing days like this. But, I keep on reminding myself, why wouldn't I? I am not too good for it and I'm not excluded from trials happening in my life.

Last week Mom had a CT scan and bone scan. They wanted to make sure the cancer hadn't spread anywhere else in her body. On Tuesday, she had her port put in and also had four lymph nodes taken out for a biopsy. The doctor told her even if it was in her lymph nodes that would not change her treatment regimen. She was scheduled to start her chemo yesterday and also recieve her test results from last week. Well, when she went in for her treatment (after already having an emotional morning preparing herself to start chemo) her oncologist (Dr. White) said she saw some lesions on her liver that she was concerned about. Dr. White said it could be "nothing that serious" or it could be cancer. So, she is scheduled to have either a biopsy or an ultrasound next week to find out exactly what it is. Dr. White said even if it is cancer, it will not change how she is going to treat her, just like with the lymph nodes. This does however change the schedule that she was on for her treatments which were planned out already so that she would hopefully be feeling good when we fly out on July 4th for Josh's wedding. So ...... to say that we recieved hard news yesterday would be an understatement. It wasn't what we were expecting to hear at all! I felt like Mom had already done a good job of accepting the reality of breast cancer and the treatments that were ahead of her ... and now to hear this news has been almost devasting to her. Does this mean that we don't think God can heal her and protect her and comfort her ... NO! But, as I've said before, it still hurts.

As always, God's Word has been so comforting to us in this time. I got up early Thursday morning to help Mom get ready for her treatments. She was still showering when I got up so I went in the bonus room to read my Bible while I was waiting for her. Normally, I do my devotions while Lily Kate is napping in the afternoon but I knew we would all need some extra strength from the Lord and so I decided to go ahead and have my quiet time. I've been reading through Romans and that morning I was reading Romans 6-8. When I got to Romans 8:28, I couldn't help but tear up and just think about how appropriate that verse was for the day we were going to face. I thought I knew what was going to happen that day, but the Lord had a different plan. He knew that I was going to need to hold on to that verse in a way I hadn't planned on. Hold on to that verse even if Mom does have Stage 4 cancer ... hold on to that verse even if she isn't feeling her best at Josh's wedding ... hold on to that verse during those dark days when we don't know what is around the corner. As I told Mom yesterday, we don't see the big picture like God sees it ... He knows how to use all circumstances to bring glory to His name. And after all, isn't that what our life is about-bringing glory to God?! He doesn't promise us an easy-going, Christian life, but He does promise us not to give us too much than we can handle and to guide us through all of the valleys in life.

Throughout this whole situation, the Lord has used His people to be so encouraging and uplifting to our family. I know we have people all over the country praying for Mom and that is such a good feeling. The simplist words of "I'm praying for you" mean so much more now than they ever have. I know it is the Lord's strength and the prayers of His people that are getting us through these days.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to HIS purpose for them."